I learned an important lesson in on-line dating today: Honesty is the best policy. I got a message Saturday morning from a guy who described himself as a “sweet guy looking for a good woman”. He was very direct:
“You’re very beautiful, would you be up for a coffee?”
I appreciated his no-bullshit approach and I liked the looks of his profile so I told him sure, I’d meet him for a coffee, when would work for him?
“How about 6pm?”
Tonight? seriously? This guy was on a mission. His eagerness was a red flag for me but, I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt. I told him I had plans (I did) but maybe Wednesday after work. He agreed.
After that, a few more red flags popped up. First off, he told me I had to meet him where he lived (1.5 hours away) instead of meeting me half way because he “hadn’t gotten his jeep fixed yet”. Secondly, after he requested to see more pictures of me and I returned the request (he only had one picture on his profile) he told me, sorry, he only had that one. Who in 2013 only has one picture of themselves? Then finally he asked me how I felt about holding hands on the first date. That pretty much put an end to any possible relationship I could have with this guy. I couldn’t meet him on Wednesday. This is where I went wrong. Instead of being honest with the guy about why I couldn’t meet him, I straight up lied. With the purest intentions of saving his feelings, I told him that I was “getting back together with my ex”. This was at about 10pm last night. By the time I woke up this morning I had a response:
“Then why are you still on here looking for a date?”
Was I being called out? I intended to block him after I broke off our coffee date to prevent this exact scenario but I wanted to make sure he got the message first. I told him that I hadn’t gotten around to taking my profile down yet, good luck, and take care. BLOCK. That takes care of that. Right?
Apparently not, because by 10am, I have a message sent to me on a DIFFERENT dating site (I have profiles on 2 different sites) that reads:
There he was. That one existing photo staring at me, calling me a “lier”. I was a liar of course, but that didn’t ease the panic that this loonie toon who likes to hold hands managed to track me down on a second dating site for the sole purpose of calling me out.
I thought that since his feelings were at stake, sparing this guy the truth would be the nice thing to do. Going forward I will definitely be more upfront. The results definitely couldn’t be worse than this….